hey stranger

i am doing mufy.
i am restarting all over.
i am not gonna whine and rant about screwing my stpm.

here i am, after much frustrating and imsomniac nights. but i wish to leave that all in the dark. no point bringing all the woes up again. i guess im actually enjoying it fairly well despite surrounded by juniors. im somewhat compelled to strive harder then them. it just doesnt fit to see them better then me! (although age should not be made into a classification) the 'kiasu' in me is indeed welling up. who is there to blame but the fault of our own? this time, its all work and no play for jane doe...

that forever were perhaps just as eternal,
that eternal is perhaps just as surreal
and as reality disquises,
we have none the means to realize.

as of now, even i am a stranger to myself...

unpretentious pretence

faux

i've done something which i can loathe and disgust upon later on in life.

i've come upon much wonderations on how can i hate one and stil live in their shadows, lending them a shoulder, giggling with them a secret.

i feel so very much like a back stabbing biatch-which i believe i am-
but can i be considerd one? since i keep all this woes and foe to myself? then again, i was never a white washed angel

sunset in the midst of nowhere

i lost....

i believe i heart someone for a very long time now......i just didnt realize it till now.

finally woken

after a drive on the highway on a manual, im back to normal.

*sheesh*

im such a moody gal. think my eq sucks over the hols or perhaps it just sucks all this long without me noticing it in the first place. which is so not surprising.

may be back to normal, but its still a long way to reach my childhood simplicity. then again, didnt everyone say we should be looking forward instead of regressing into the past? man, im beginning to debate with this inner conscience of mine in my head.

fret that one day when i would end up a schizo in a psychiatric ward.

sober

"Lamp post in the absence of Moon
Strangers in the midst of confusion
And where do I stand the day after?"

I'm still sobering up to whatever happened last night. Still living in the midst of confusion.

You know what, irony still rules my life alongside procrastination.

I've been pondering long enough on this question till last night when the answer came to me.
Long as I had waited for it, it screwed my head from the moment I heard it. But heck! Who's to notice. None of us was conscious enough to realize that. I admit though there were moments when I really felt euphoric.

Like the time when the trees seems to go round and round and just woulnt stop.
Like the time when I cant hold my head up any longer and slammed the bonnet.
Like the time we sat against the car crapping away.

Kept asking myself, "Why did I do this again?"

Could never really answer myself.

Fuck the goddamn night! and fuck the goddamn sin!

A Mid-Autumn night to remember

origin of tales

setting of the night

the culprits

ambershined femme

midnight scavengers